Are The Gods Trying To Tell Me Something?

I have to wonder. It seems like every time I tried to organise to skate the Gods throw something in to stop me. First, I was sick, then had kids sick, then an employee sick - mind you, topped off with a flat battery so I couldn't even get to WORK! Good one that, double header.

For a couple of training sessions my mojo just wasn't there, and every promotional thing the derby girls have needed help with I've either been working, or away on holidays!

I had a good training session on Thursday, considering I hadn't skated in nearly a month. But I notice how much more a lot of people put in. Is it because of my dodgy knee? Or fear of my own ability and lack of confidence?

I always knew with all the committments I have (mostly not of my own doing, but because of business, kids, mother) it was going to be hard to fit in, but I just really wanted something for myself. Something I love.

But now I am questioning if I love it enough, because when I look around me, the level of passion my fellow team members have is so far beyond what I feel. I just think maybe I am too old, and have too many emotionally draining aspects in my life to be able to give what is needed... Maybe it is time to hang the skates up and admit defeat.

It Has To Happen

With all organisations, as they grow, so too do the demands, internal politics and conflicts. Yesterday I witnessed one such hiccup in our derby league. On the regular Wednesday morning skate a lot of the people attending are the derbyers. This little league is now growing at an incredible rate, and what once worked is starting to show sly cracks of weakness and dissent. Not through bitchiness (though I must add, you put of lot of strong women in a group and hell, whaddya think is gonna happen... ) or troublemakers, but purely from the pressure of ANY organisation that grows too quickly. Firm procedures, processes, rules and expectations have to be explained clearly AND enforced. It is no good worrying if you are goin' to be everybody's mate at the end if the whole damn thing implodes before it even gets started. If people want to act like a bunch of children there are times you need to treat them as such!

The whole philosophy of this league was what attracted me and many others, it would be a shame if it was lost. That is what WILL happen unless you all focus, find the issues, and resolve them NOW from a grassroots level. If you take the title, you have to do the hard yards, and not leave it all to fall on one or two people until they buckle from the strain.

So people, breathe, take a step back, and as I said yesterday, if you ain't part of the problem nor part of the solution: ZIP IT!

And even more tragically - my derby name might be taken already! How could I ever be anything other than Madmother after a decade of this username... *sob*

My only hope is that when the backlog on the international register clears, I am the one who applied for it first. Now I just have to wait it out...*sniff*sniff*