For a couple of training sessions my mojo just wasn't there, and every promotional thing the derby girls have needed help with I've either been working, or away on holidays!
I had a good training session on Thursday, considering I hadn't skated in nearly a month. But I notice how much more a lot of people put in. Is it because of my dodgy knee? Or fear of my own ability and lack of confidence?
I always knew with all the committments I have (mostly not of my own doing, but because of business, kids, mother) it was going to be hard to fit in, but I just really wanted something for myself. Something I love.
But now I am questioning if I love it enough, because when I look around me, the level of passion my fellow team members have is so far beyond what I feel. I just think maybe I am too old, and have too many emotionally draining aspects in my life to be able to give what is needed... Maybe it is time to hang the skates up and admit defeat.
3 comments:
First question - when you go do you have a good time?
Second question - do you look forward to the training sessions or is it with dread.
If you answered in the positive then keep going. You are your own hardest critic, I am sure the other girls know you give as much of yourself as is humanly possible.
Either way I wish you peace with your decision. xxx
Ditto Kakka.
You know, I feel like I am losing my mojo too. What gives? Full moon? Too full life? Dunno.
We derby all year round. There is no real off season. It's not unusual to experience a little derby burnout. Some girls do drop out because of it. Some take a few steps back, and others go to rollercon, meet a bunch of awesome exciting derby peeps ( or something similar) and get right back into it. Life is tough and tiring and stressful, and sometimes the derby drama and all the bumps and bruises add up, but most of us have it in our hearts and really couldn't give this up. If it's in your blood it's in your blood, just try not to spill it all out on the track and you'll be right back in it. I've known lots of girls that quit and came back, and I know some that quit and haven't. But the ones that haven't returned miss it, and just don't know how to get back in.
I hope it's in your blood, it sounds like it is, and this rollerderby family needs more people in it not less.
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