Dreams, Derby and a Dirty, Doddering Dame

I had this whole thing typed and *poof* it vanished into the bloggerverse...

So to begin again:

Most of you who read my other blog know of my writing aspirations, but do you know of the idea behind my derby dreams? There is a method to my madness you see. I figure I have the perfect vehicle to launch myself into the publishing world, after all, how many overweight, unfit on-the-downhill-run to 47 wanna-be derby girls who can write can there be? Seriously? *Crickets*... is that crickets I hear breaking the still silence?

Exactly. It is the hook. The endless twist in the tale we all search for to make us stand out in the masses of unpublished talent. And I can skate, really I can! It is one of the few natural talents I can lay claim to. Add in attitude, a smart mouth and plain old chutzpah and I think I have a somewhat marketable commodity: Me!

Think of the tales I can tell from inside the Derby World. I was born with the gift of the gab, can talk my way in and out of most situations, and have. Story weaving comes naturally and my attention grabbing ability is not an issue, one of my friends calls me the unstoppable force. I am already working on profile raising ideas...

Pssst... Wanna buy a t-shirt? Or how about a bumper sticker?

And 'specially for the back of my short shorts when my arse hits the air:

Of course, it will look a lot better once my butt is toned to a more attractive dimension such as this:

Roller Derby will never be the same again. Hell, maybe there will even be Madmother jokes! And Madmother underwear!

Now, all I need is some ideas for the book title... Hello? Anyone?

Bloody crickets...